Calisthenic 1, Week 3

Avoiding Cliches.

The moon was beautifully full, and the stars shown like diamonds in the sky.

Re-do: The cursed face of the moon sits on its throne in the company of the infinite kings and queens of imploding death.

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 3

Believe it or not my calculus professor said this in class today.

Student: "Do you have any plans for Valentines Day?"
Professor: "No, I hate Valentines day. Mothers have Mother's Day. Fathers have Father's Day. Couples of course have Valentines Day. There is even a Grandparents Day and Secretaries Day. Do you know what we single people have? Palm Sunday."
All jokes aside he actually said this.

Improv 1, Week 2

I wanted to try the active voice a little more, so here it is!

Sentence: Kim was angered by her boyfriend.

Active Voice: Kim's face was red hot as she looked at the clock that held her boyfriend's life in its hands. She tapped her foot as fast as a tornado's rampage watching the door with the focus of a man deciding between the red and blue wire.

Classmate Responce 2, Week 2

This is hilarious! I didn't grow up on a farm, so seeing chicks would probably conjure up my every idea of cuteness. It's most likely because they are not animals that I see everyday.
I would never have guessed that you would do this sort of thing to a chick. As children, I guess we tend to commit mean spirited acts. I'm glad you two let them go in the end, even though you were still happy about it.
 I really liked the way that you described the terror and confusion of their faces also.

Classmate Responce 1, Week 2

 This is a response to Kay's reading analysis.
These are two of my favorite "showing not telling" examples too! When I read them I wanted to read them again just to soak in the specificity of it all. I could see every action and trait that was described about the kidnapper.
The entry about James answered a lot of the questions I had about him. It also gave me a concrete idea of what he looked like and what his personality was. From the way that she described him it was almost easy to see how she fell for him, and who she still calls him the love of her life. I can see why this stuck out most to you.

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 2

"A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."
                                                    -Thomas Mann

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 2

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
                                                     -Anton Chekhov

 I choose to post this quote because I thought it goes well with the "showing vs telling" technique.

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 2

"I am not a good writer, but I'm an excellent re-writer."
                                      -James Michener

Calisthenic 1, Week 2

This was my first attempt of the active voice exercise in class.

Sentence: It was a nice Spring day.

Active Voice: Miki gets out of her car to go into Kroger. She is greeted by a floral breeze that's perfectly balanced by the sun shy touch. As she walks to the automatic door, a girl scout asks if she wants to buy some cookies.

Free Entry 1, Week 2

Okay here is the new draft of the poem I posted last week. I worked all week on it, but I'm still not satisfied with it. The more I change in the poem, the more I find things wrong with it. I guessing that is the self-critic in me. Once again I would love to hear any feedback and suggestions, and I would also like to hear what you think about it.

The Clouds

Whip Cream topping
For a child's imagination
A migration of untouchable possibilities.
They glide through each emotion,
Angrily choking the sun of its radiance,
Crying tears with the drum beat of life,
And smiling with the warmth of coffee
On a day of subzero weather.
Captivating cotton candy
Colored curtains that protect
The view of our world
From the unknown.

Reading Response 1, Week 2

When I began Abducted by Circumstance, I will admit that I completely dreaded reading it. I kept getting confused about who was talking and who the new characters were to the main character. Once I became accustom to reading the book, I began to create a kind of groove to reading it. I found myself  being complete engrossed in the story. I started to understand the misunderstood feelings of the married couple and everyone around them.
Until we discussed the book in class, I never really noticed how David Maddon used a lot of "showing" instead of "telling" to reveal the feelings of the confused and unhappy heroine. After the class talked about the novel I began reading the story differently. I craved to find more of the "showing" technique. That is a skill I want to take and use in my own writing.

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 2

My Dad and I were in the car riding home . I was working on some of the active voice exercises we received in class, so I ask for a little inspiration. This is what I received. Me: "Daddy, What do you do when you see a hard math problem?" Daddy: "Skip it." I laughed for a good 15 minutes.

Reponse to Classmate 2, Week 1

This is a response to Drika's Improv of A Martian Sends a Postcard Home by Craig Raine. Wow the first stanza was so captivated! It pushed me to want to read the rest of what you wrote. The idea was very ominous and dark, but with a twist of confusion. That was a really great start, but I would recommend not sounding too much like the original in the second stanza. The third stanza was good too, but somehow it sounded like something I have heard before. Also always think about flow and the way that each line or stanza will sound being followed by the next. Overall it was great, thanks for the read!

Improv 1, Week 1

In class we read "A Martian Sends a Postcard Home" by Craig Raine. In this poem he showed the wonderful skill of defamiliarization, which is the act of making the ordinary extraordinary. This poem was a great inspiration for my love of word play and creative thought. Here I am trying the technique on my own:

The Clouds

Those cotton balls that float,
Day in and out.
They carry many emotions,
and switch between them in the passing days.
Angrily choking the sun of its radiance,
Crying hazy tears of life,
and smiling with the warmth
of coffee on a cold day
Captivating puffy cotton
candy colored pillows.

(This is a rough draft now, and I will happily take any ideas to help better this poem.)

Calisthenic 1, Week 1

I'm going to try my hand at showing versus telling again.

Telling: The girl is bored.

Showing: Sara taps her blue mechanical pencil on the desk, eyes glancing at the clock that is mockingly standing still. She looks over to the window to ease her thoughts of time actually stopping. In the background she hears what sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher only to see it's her professor lecturing.

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 1

" I wish I could hurt people without hurting them."
                                       -My Sister Brandi

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 1

" This girl is going to sing for supper." "Do you know who else sings for supper? Informants."
                                                    -The Finder

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 1

"Sounds like ordinary life. Total control, except for the pop-ups"
                                -Abducted by Circumstance David Madden
This was a interesting reference to the similarities between life and the internet/computers.

Free Entry 1, Week 1

Ribbing- an arrangement of ribs.

Synonyms- bantering, chaffing, fooling, jesting, joking, joshing, kidding, rallying, razzing, quizzical

Ex: "Does she think I'm ribbing her?" -Abducted by Circumstance Tobias Wolff

                 I wanted to put this up because I haven't heard it used before. I didn't even know you could use it in that sort of context. Well to me the definition gives no hint that it could be used that way. So I thought is was cool enough and share with everyone else.
                It's fun running across new words! I now grant this word an official member of my vocabulary. Welcome "ribbing" to the wonderful world of Brittany's mind, and hopefully someone else' mind too. I am curious, how many people actually knew you could used "ribbing" like this?

Reading Response 1, Week 1

   I decided to do my reading response on Tobias Wolff's Next Door. Until reading this short story a second time, I never realized how in depth I should read (and write). When I read it by myself I picked up on the subtle hints of trouble and awkwardness between the husband and wife. I think I even picked up on their jealousy toward their neighbors who have the passionate fire they lack.
  I didn't realize the importance of mentioning El Dorado, but now that I have read it again, it makes perfect sense that it reflects what the husband is missing, and what he hungers for. I now know that in a short story every detail, every word, and every sentence has a very specific purpose.

Response to a Classmate's Journal 1, Week 1

This is a response to Morgan's Week 1 Reading Response to Next Door.

I find it interesting that reading that short story made you want to write one of your own. I say that because it made me want to do the exact same thing. I just wish I had a scenario to write about like your disappearing roommate (Great back-story already by the way). I would suggest that to push the showing remember to think of ways to show the reader what your character is doing. It should play out like a movie or play as you read it. It might help to actually write what is in the character's mind, then go back and find a way to show those thoughts, feelings, and reactions. I hope you finish it soon I'm interested in reading it!

                                                     -Brittany

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 1

"it never happens, unless it does"
                       - David Madden Abducted by Circumstance
Isn't this the best thing to hear from a doctor? Especially right before being tested for something that could possibly end in a bad way. ( That was sarcasm in case you didn't catch that.) This line really stood out to me while reading, so I thought I would document it.