I'm going to try my hand at showing versus telling again.
Telling: The girl is bored.
Showing: Sara taps her blue mechanical pencil on the desk, eyes glancing at the clock that is mockingly standing still. She looks over to the window to ease her thoughts of time actually stopping. In the background she hears what sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher only to see it's her professor lecturing.
Not bad at all, Brittany. Much better than the original! "ease her thoughts of time passing": work on that line. It's lost in abstraction. What does that LOOK LIKE? Make it cinematic.
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