Improv 1, Week 10

This is just a start on a piece I am working on. Its the very first free writing, so it's nothing great yet.

Smokers Unite

Lips kiss the scorching
paper that fools the fools.
Never showing the dirty
poisonous cobra
that hides in the white dress.

Classmate Response 1, Week 10

This is in response to Drika's Junkyard Quote 4 of Week 10. I could see some character that is very technically saying something like this in a piece of writing. It would probably be a under breath response to a parent saying they can't go out "after dark." I think you should use this it's the beginning of a great characters development.

Reading Response 1, Week 10

This is in response to Margaret Atwood's Happy Endings. This piece was fun to read, and it made me realize how boring a straight forward happy ending can be. The beginning and end of a story are important but the middle is what hold them together, and the middle is where everything happens. As a reader i realize that if every book, poem, or short story I read had no hardship or anything of the sort the stories would be boring. When one reads your no typically looking for something like everyday life, but something with some spice, action and romance included. We want to read about pain and suffering that ends well, but no too well. A good story isn't happy dory the entire piece, but weaves in and out of happiness. This gives a good balance to every story, and also makes them more lifelike.

Calisthenic 1, Week 10

Character Development Exercise:

Orange Shirt

I think sometimes you only use the right chunk of your brain. Wearing your neon orange v-neck t shirt with khaki pants and flip flops. Folding your arms because mama didn't give you the dessert that your mouth was wet for. Stomping your way up the stairs like Godzilla through the narrow streets of Japan. I have always wondered if you actually like your own personality , or if you pretend to be someone else that's frilly and quiet. Of course, this person would be your complete opposite. Just like that orange shirt you are loud and begging to be seen. Sometimes I find myself wishing you to Never-land where the ticking alligator could run you from Goo Lagoon to Skull Island.After doing so, somehow, someway I find that I would miss you. I missed you and your boom box of a voice, even though I would never tell you that. Without you there would be no pink pajama coffee breath breaks in the cricket nights. If you were gone home would be like Treasure Island with no map to mark "X."

This was as far as I could write in class, and I didn't edit it yet or anything. Now that I read it, it seems like a free write just to get ideas down. 

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 10

"We are all children of incest."
              -My co-worker

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 10

"When life gives you grapes make raisins."
                            -Aaron (my cousin)

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 10

"Hostile Fortune" -Decameron "Cruelty of Heaven" -Decameron

Free Entry 1, Week 10

New Vocab!!!
-Jovial
-Torpor
-Macabre
 I didn't put the meanings on purpose, so now you have to look them up! (If you don't already know the meanings that is.)

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 10

"I sit here at my desk in this paper world of mine." - improved off a line in Faust

Free Entry 1, Week 9

I has fun writing my first 6 word story, so i decided to write another one.

One room. six people. one dead.

Calisthenic 1, Week 9

This is my 6 word story.

In a bag underwater, last breath.

Reading Response 1, Week 9

This week's response will be over Dionne Irving's Florida Lives. I thought this piece did a great job with character development and mirroring. It was also nice to see what inspired Irving with some of the ideas in her piece. I thought that the story did a great job of making the characters seem real. These were people I'm sure we have seen before, and could easily be imagined by the reader. It was also interesting because the more I read I began to dislike the main characters. I didn't like what they had become, which was the very thing they claimed to hate, by the end. It was a great read!

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 9

"little garden nazis"
             -Dr. Davidson

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 9

"Fun Facts About the Oil Spill"

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 9

A customer referred to being "Publix-sick" instead of homesick while she is in North Carolina.

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 9

"I'm cold." -student
"You can't be cold we are nowhere near done with class." -Professor

Classmate Response 2, Week 8

In response to April's Week 8 Imporv:

This piece really captivated me, it takes an advantage by starting with a quote that just about every person's mother has nagged at them with. This piece also brings another interesting trait about the character, and it's probably something we all do, especially when our have pretty eyes that we don't inherit, but the reasoning behind it was different. The main character has this obsession with her mother's eyes, and the fact that she does not possess them, as her brother and sister do. The imagery was rich also and very cinematic helping the reading progress like a movie or t.v. show.
I wasn't quite sure where the piece is taking place. This work could ease the reader into the location. What is around the character? What is the character doing? Set the scene.
Nice first draft!

Classmate Response 1, Week 8

This is in response to Drika's Junkyard Quote 3 for Week 8:

 "If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts." -Albert Einstein-

I this the play on fact here. Can you really change a fact? If you can is it really a fact then? It's even cooler that Albert Einstein, a well known genius, said it. Sounds like something a really mean math professor would say. I wonder what would come from writing using this as a starting point.

Reading Response 1, Week 8

Bigfoot Stole My Wife by Ron Carlson was not only a fun read but another great inspiration. It's interesting that he takes such bizarre and unreal tabloids and turns them into these characters that seem to live and breath the very thing that is not realistic. His writing actually made me think: why do these people need to believe these odd things? Why do they believe it so much that they risk being called crazy?
There are also a lot of reasons that they could believe in alien abductions and Bigfoot stealing wives, so to see that he picked a occurrence of the characters past was a nice twist. The character believes in everything, but clearly believes in nothing. Learning about where Carlson gets his inspiration pushed me to try to find inspiration in everything. Then all there is left to do is write!

Calisthenic 1, Week 8

This my reversing work.

I was watching a new vampire show on Netflix, one where vampires actually die in sunlight, not shine. The glorified death of the vampires basked in the beauty of a baby's first steps. Fire scorching their faces while they take one last, maybe first, look at the sunset. The ash of their body waves in the wind as they disappear like the fallen leaves of autumn. Why is their death so easy?

This is just a start to the piece. Let me know what you think.

Improv 1, Week 8

Here is my improvement on my Fanta short story.

Fanta

The guys swarm me like a predator hunting its prey, twenty lions against one gazelle. "I'm here to see Coach Carter for the statistics." They all return to their lays ups and field goals, while a man around 5'7 with short spiky brown hair and a black Nike collar shirt tells me to hold on. I stand awkwardly in a corner while orange fire balls are being thrown from goal to goal. My only comfort the strawberry fanta from my newly discovered vending machine. The coach is back, as I walk to the papers a ball, with a perfectly geometric seventy degree angle of doom, shoots from the plastic wood floor to the bottom of my can, drowning me in strawberry goodness. Every jinni laughs, and suddenly I remember a similar situation the last time I explored outside the theater.

Free Entry 1, Week 8

"A believer is something, a hypocrite is half a something, and a infidel is less than something."
                                                        -The Thousand and One Nights

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 8

"All roads lead to Ovid."
                 -World Literature Professor

"Everything is connected, that the point in Ovid."
                     -Dr. Surgess

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 8

"By the way, on "ratemyprofessor.com" I'm still waiting for my red chili pepper."
                                             -My Calculus Professor

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 8

"I think that there is a conspiracy with math professors and black new balance tennis shoes."
                                                          -Me                       

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 8

"Your looking eatable today."
                  -My Calculus Professor

Classmate Response 1, Week 7

This is in response to Kelsey's free entry for week 7.

This piece is very playful, literally. The references to Anastasia and Dimetri were nice a specific, especially if your someone who likes Disney. The change between each of the characters the barbie plays was a nice touch. Katherine, a fitting name for a barbie by the way, was one of the many characters of barbie and the use of the "Katherine look alikes" was a nice phrase that did a great job of explaining that the crowd was most likely filled with the exact same barbie. It might help the story if the location was stabilized. It's not clear exactly where this piece is taking place. Giving a specific description of what the lead barbie looks like might also had a bit of specificity.

Classmate 1, Week 7

This is in response to Kay's Improv for week 7.

This piece has a lot of potential. It is intriguing, the topic that is. It slowly draws the reader in with the mystery of this "Mrs. Wilson". The strength here in this draft is in its specificity, for example the "Ben and Jerry's rocky road" reference and how the smile was described as the smile "saved for grandma's sweaters at Christmas." It does a great job of adding these smirky remarks that are pretty much specific enough to create a mental picture.
There are some minor weakness the piece has two places were "smile" is the enjambment, so it sort of seems redundant. I can't wait for the next draft.

Improv 1, Week 7

Book Example:
Off the coast, the water is sort of icky.

My take:
The reach of the Pacific coast pollutes the city with blue jellies, badazzled rocks with the echo of salt water waves, and sludge grass.

Reading Response 1, Week 7

I'm doing this week's reading response on the workshops we did this week. After going through the pieces myself and talking about them in class, I'm getting a sense on the middle ground I should shoot for in my writing. I should be between public and private matters. When I say this I mean, I should between the world of my writing and the real world. In between these two worlds lie what I know can happen and what I don't know will happen. I shouldn't always know the twists and turns my writing will take, but I do have the choice of what words/lines to use. I also can decide when each line/word will do the most work for the advantage of my pieces.

Free Entry 1, Week 7

This is an exert from a short story I have been working on. Let me know what you think!

Fanta

All of the guys are swarming me with the look a predator gives its prey, twenty lions against one gazelle. "I'm here to see Coach Carter for the statistics." They all return to their monstrous game, while a man around 5'7 with short hair and a black Nike collar shirt tells me to hold on. I stand awkwardly in the corner while orange fireballs were being thrown left to right. My only comfort the strawberry Fanta I bought in this foreign location's vending machine. The Coach opens the door, I begin to walk towards him when a ball, with the perfectly geometric angle of doom, bounces from the plastic hardwood to the bottom of my can, drowning me in strawberry goodness. Every "sharp tooth" laughs and suddenly I remember a  similar situation the last time I ventured outside the my comfort zone.  

Calisthenic 1, Week 7

 This is what I came up with from the interrogation we did today in class.

 Elgin

 A village of retirees
A ghost town filled with
Houses of pukish yellow and tangerine orange.
E-town, is what the the Baileys on South Liberty Street call it, but for me
it's just Elgin.
The home of the graves for Chocolate and Winnie,
who were eaten by a slimy lizard that was lit up
like a Lite Brite.
Across the railroad there is Wasco's Corner Store
Where Lars sells gummy worms and fruit loops.
My 13th birthday filled with tangled slinkies.

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 7

"mathematical gymnastics" -Chemistry Professor

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 7

"Art is about connections."
               -Stefano Vagnini

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 7

""Practice not-doing, and everything will fall into place."
                                        -Tao Te Ching
This was an interesting read because it goes against everything I have been taught. This comes from the Chinese concept of "We Wei," where they believe that even in doing nothing beauty can be created.

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 7

"Darkness within Darkness. The gateway to all understanding."
                                                    -Tao Te Ching

Calisthenic 1, Week 6

This is one of the examples from the Writing Poetry book. Showing versus Telling

1. The coach was angry.

Coach Fleming's was has red as a bottle of hot sauce. He yelled at the referee like the alpha-male chimpanzee claiming his territory. The only thing he was missing was the pounding on his chest, but he replaced it a shot bird and a slur of curses.

Classmate Response 2, Week 6

This is in response to Drika's Free Entry for Week 6.
This is really helpful when trying to write a story/ poem about yourself. Another person that is observing will only describe what they see without including the actual feelings of the person they are talking about (unless those feelings help in the telling of the story). It's kind of like "My Father's Love Letters" by Komunyakaa. The poem was in the view point of the child, imagine what the poem would be like if the father was the narrator. I imagine there would be a significant difference in emotion. From the father's point of view we would get more of the sadness and struggle, but from the child we get truth and actual events, from a outside's view. This also helps the story become cinematic and reduces the amount of material in the character's head.

Classmate Response 1, Week 6

This is in response to Kelsy's Response for Week 6.
I think this is something a lot of us are probably uncomfortable with because we all have had poems about flowers, moons, and nature thrown down our throats. This is why poems about anything that has to do with actual human nature (e.g. sex, abuse, death, and things of this sort) all seem out of place or surprising when read in a poem. It also might be awkward because sexual references are sort of weird anyway when in public anyway. I am also trying to work on broadening the scope of my writing as a whole. I hope you succeed to do so!

Imitation 1, Week 6

This is a imitation of the Modular Method.

Who Says

whosaysno
whosaysknow
knowwhatknowwhoknowhow
withwhatwithwhorightnow
todaytomorrowanytime
whosaysyes
tothebeachatthesea
canweeatorseat
whoswhenisitnow
withwhohow
whoseayes

Doing this kind of makes me feel like Dr. Seuss.

Free Entry 1, Week 6

This week was very interesting for me. I have just realized how much predatory reading, watching, and listening we actually do everyday. Earlier this week, I watched a documentary on the history of anime. Throughout the entire video all I could hear was how much movie producers and cartoonist all see things that they admire in anime, so they take what they liked and try to mimic the technique. The techniques can vary for camera dimensions to character development. Movie producers watch and read things to get ideas for their next big hit. The speakers that came to class Thursday were really pushing for predatory reading, writing, and listening also. By doing this they are able to create layer upon layer of art work together. This week just pushed me into making everything I do a predatory act. I'm always going to be looking for the next thing.

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 6

"We should enjoy something that's different together."
                                 -Stefano Vagnini

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 6

"Blue, in almost any shade, is a fugitive paint. (If you've ever owned a blue car or blue jeans, you know what fugitive means.)"
This quote is from that Primary Colors book. I thought the describe of blue as a fugitive paint was interesting.
                                       

Reading Response 1, Week 6

In response to Katie Chaple's Pretty Little Rooms.

This poem is a great example on why it's nice to have the back-story. When Dr. Davidson told the class about the article, on the falsehood of a dead poets skeleton, that inspired Chaple to write this interesting poem, everything then began to make sense. Hearing the history of this poem made me want to accept the challenge to find inspiration in any type of writing from articles to textbooks (textbooks might be a stretch). I'm hoping that I will be able to write something, with time of course, that's just as good.
I also wanted to comment on a part of the poem that resonated well with me. In the second line ("...as though too injured to live outside that stone room."), the word live always sticks out because it's being referred to a skull.
 

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 6

"If someone is a hater. It doesn't make sense to hate them for hating."
                                                          -My World Literature Professor

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 6

"I hold the candle at an angle, so the flames licks glass."
                                                           -Katie Chaple

Reading Response 1, Week 5

This reading response is on the short play Pain of Pink Evenings by Rosemary Moore. This play has a bunch of good techniques and skills that I hope to develop. From the significance of every detail to the development of the character.  First off, this play only has one character and she is the only one talking throughout the entire play. Moore uses stories of the past or dreams to introduce the two other characters. I enjoyed actually reading about a character who was shy and timid, because of course her speech and personality is totally different from a outspoken go to type of girl. Tracy, the main character, was one of the first shy characters I've run into lately. She is a new type of challenge, a new adventure to be explored by writers. The specificity in the work was great too, and always gave insight into the character and the life she leads. Overall I enjoyed reading this story play. 

Classmate Response 2, Week 5

In response to Beverly's The Perfect Rose.

This piece has a amount of good potential. I would suggest shying away from the things that already have their own connotations such as rose, heart, truth, and so on. These things leave their own set of meanings with the reader and it takes away from what your trying to create here. What if we took those things out and added specifics? Describe a "perfect rose." What is her truth? What do those "pointed toed heels" look like? Try describing how she looks like a ballerina by using dance lingo or actual ballet movements. There is a lot of space to put image based description. I wish you luck, and this was a nice draft. 

Free Entry 1, Week 5

This is my go with the litany with the anaphora of "thanks".

Thanks

To the hoops that have been robbed of their swooshing glory, I thank you.
Thank you to that one kid in the back of the classroom spreading the smell of nacho cheese Doritos.
My professors, who I would like to thank for the never ending cycle  of Calculus, Homer, and Arrhenius' Law.
Thanks Publix, for making shopping a pleasure.
Elementary Schools, gracias for teaching lefties to write in an oh so awkward curved position.
Thank you so much gala apples and Walmart 35 oz bags of frozen fruit.
Thanks to public speaking classes were I can beat the all time "Saying the most ummm's in one presentation" record.
To you all, I thank. 

Classmate Response 1, Week 5

I enjoyed this piece because it gave me that Alice in Wonderland kind of feel. A child in a strange world that follows the directions of things/people they don't know just to end up sleeping, in this case, their bed. I admired that the instructions weren't always concrete on what the child was to do like "...and feed his clam chowder if you have any.." The "if you have any" made it seem as though even if you are being told what to do you are still given chances to decide what you want to do.
I would suggest being more specific, especially in places that you can have fun with the writing, like "the wicked things that eat children". What do they look like? How do they act? I would love to see how they are described. Very nice work!

Calistenic 1,Week 5

Here was my dialogue I wrote in class.

"I have always hated apple favored drinks. Everything, but apple juice. Apple juice is okay, I guess. My mom used to buy apple Kool-Aid to go with dinner, and my dad would get apple flavored Thera-Flu when I was sick. Both, no all, of them made me gag. It's kinda like my own personal cinnamon challenge."

"I wonder why people actually try the cinnamon challenge?" She spreads the cream cheese on her raisin bagel in a zig-zag motion.

"I recently tried apple Fanta, it was disguised as strawberry. Using the same color for different flavors makes no sense. Of course it didn't taste any different then the other apple drinks." The person behind her plays a upright game of limbo. Trying hard not to bump into her chair, but failing to do so.

"How do you think it feels to taste cinnamon? Do you think I should try it?"

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 5

"I don't like all these letters in calculus. It's like literature."
                                         -Kid in my Calculus class
I thought it was interesting that he actually compared the two. Since I have a love for them both, I have been trying to find their likeness, and here it is.

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 5

"We tell ourselves stories to live."
                        -Joan W.

Imitiation 1, Week 5

I don't know how many times I'm going to change this piece. I'm working again with defamiliarization.

Is That A Rabbit?

Whip cream topping
For a child's purple elephants and talking Barbies and Kens.
A migration
Of over-boiled egg puss.
Chocking the sun of its peaches, mangoes, and strawberries,
Smiling with the taste of Gan Lu Tea.
The cotton candy
Colored curtains
Of the sun's 7'oclock smile.

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 5

"Your water is melting."
                  -My Mother

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 5

"...majestic ten-faced stalker of the night."
                         - from the Ramayana
I just thought that using majestic and stalker in the same description was weird.

Classmate Response 2, Week 4

(This is in response to Drika's Free Entry for Week 4.)

This is great work! Especially for it to be the first time you have posted it. I love how you took from your experience with cooter soup, and created a great work with it. I really enjoyed reading this because, being a southern belle myself, a lot of the references were familiar to me (like the Perry fair and Brillo pads). There was a part where the piece mentions "the stories that have been heard a dozen times" tell the reader a little bit of that story. What would the narrator title it, after hearing the story so many times? Also, what nursery rhyme? Overall I really enjoyed reading this piece. It gave me a great sense of home even though I have never had cooter stoop.

Classmate Response 1, Week 4

(This is a response to Damiyr's Calisthenic for Week 4.)

Your litany is so entertaining. I wanted to keep reading just to see what would be thanked next. What I liked most was the random topics. None of them were based solely in one type of emotion or common feelings. This work also made me wonder what life would really be like without having those things (like blinds and cash back at 2 am). I would suggest not giving the exact reason for your thanks. Leave room for the reader to decide what your thanking that object, place, or person for.

Reading Response 1, Week 4

This week's reading response will be about Abducted by Circumstance by David Madden. Sadly this week I wasn't able to make it to hear the author of this book read his, although confusing, great novel. There was a lot to aspire to achieve from reading this book. David Madden not only wrote this work that contains every potential pitfall, but also succeeded in never falling into the pits. In class, we discussed that he pulled this off by juggling the subjects. When I say juggling i mean never staying too long on one subject, but giving just enough information in each category. Overall I would honestly say that the book taught me a lot about specificity and being engulfed in a character, even a protagonist/antagonist of the opposite sex. This book inspired me to write a lot of my current pieces. I wanted to achieve some of his great writing techniques.

Free Entry 1, Week 4

"Before you begin to write a sentence, imagine the scene you want to paint with your words. Imagine that you are the character and feel what the character feels. Smell what the character smells, and hear with that character’s ears. For an instant, before you begin to write, see and feel what you want the reader to see and feel."
                                                              -Othello Bach

Calisthenic 1, Week 4

This was what I wrote for the tonal excess exercise in class. I included the cliche also.

Kim and Chris delved in over buttered popcorn and cherry slushies at the pro-wrestling match, while yelling sweet nothings and laughing at the huge men in red and blue tights.

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 4

"Writing is a exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go."
                                                         -E.L. Doctorow

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 4

"That poor little girl. The torso finally sank, leaving the two arms begging the sky. Then they went one by one. I watched until it could have been just another glint on the water."
                                                   -Rosemary Moore The Pain of Pink Evenings
 

Improv 1, Week 4

This is an improvisation on defamiliarization. Here is the new revision of my piece: (I would love some feedback!)

The Clouds

Whip cream topping
For a child's purple elephants and talking toys,
A migration of over-boiled egg puss.
Angrily chocking the sun of its peach glory,
Crying tears with the drum beat that grows green,
And smiling with the tongue burning taste of coffee
On a day of subzero weather.
The cotton candy
Colored curtains of dusk.

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 4

"I guess real crazy doesn't go crazy. Real crazy just IS crazy."
                          -April from Creative Writing Class

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 4

"Immortality is like a slow death that never ends."
                           -Classmate in my World Literature Class

Classmate Response 2, Week 3

( In response to Beverly's  Reading Response for I am Twenty One)
Wow...that's a lot to go through in a year as important as becoming twenty-one. I can't relate, yet anyway, because I have yet to reach that age. Becoming twenty one has always been the age that everyone tells you to look forward to because that's when you are actually considered a full-fledged adult. Reading this was a new view on what being twenty one can also entitle. Thank you very much for the insight.

Classmate Reponse 1, Week 3

(This is a response to David's Week 3 free entry.)
I think it would be a good idea to show more in this piece. With the line "Pulling him out of his daydream.." How did she pull him away? What was he daydreaming? Be more descriptive about what is going on around them. Show me their living room (or where ever they are). A lot of this is in the mind of the character, make it a movie. I want to picture them in my mind as a read. I also think there are some lines that aren't needed, remember that when writing a short story every word and line has a purpose. Great start!

Free Entry 1, Week 3

Today in my World Literature class, my professor brought to my attention the connection between lunatic and luna/ lunar (in relation to the moon). It has never once crossed my mind that lunatic was connected to a meaning with the moon, even though it so clearly has the luna prefix. Words are just so fascinating when looking at their roots and origins.

Reading Response 1, Week 3

I decided to do my reading response on I am Twenty-One by Mary Robison. This piece really intrigued me because in such a short amount of time I was able to learn so much about the main character. Of course I didn't get any specifics like: where she lived, where she grew up, or the like, but I was able to get a pretty good understanding of her current situation. Robison's choice of words and phrases (ex. gooped) were very clever. When we were in class, it was brought to my attention that certain words have connotations that are associated with them. Knowing this fact could help when I want to get a certain emotion through to my readers. I also liked how her writing actually sounded like someone speaking out loud. As I read I didn't feel like I was reading, but more like I was listening to someone talk. This piece will be a great example for me to follow as I write my own short story.

Imitation 1, Week 3

Okay so, here is my first go at the short story Dr. Davidson wanted me to start. I am using I am Twenty-One by Mary Robison as an example I just sat down and started writing and I had absolutely no idea where it was heading. This is the first exert.

Short Story (No Title Yet)

I hate Valentines Day. Mothers have Mother's day. Fathers have father's day. There is even a Grandparent's day and a Secretaries' day. Do you know what we single people get? Palm Sunday. Today in class someone, a student I suppose, asked if I had any plans for Valentines Day. Of course I don't, not unless Trivia Night at the Irish Pub off of Hwy 166 counts as "plans." But I do that every week. I should probably call Dr. Wolf back about setting up my next appointment. He will probably go on about eating carrots. I don't think my eye sight is that bad. After all, I was able to see Laura.

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 3

"Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing."
                           -Oscar Wilde

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 3

"Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader—not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon." 
                          - E.L. Doctorow

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 3

"I'm not better than you, I just think different."
                              -Nujabes "Think Different"

Calisthenic 1, Week 3

Avoiding Cliches.

The moon was beautifully full, and the stars shown like diamonds in the sky.

Re-do: The cursed face of the moon sits on its throne in the company of the infinite kings and queens of imploding death.

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 3

Believe it or not my calculus professor said this in class today.

Student: "Do you have any plans for Valentines Day?"
Professor: "No, I hate Valentines day. Mothers have Mother's Day. Fathers have Father's Day. Couples of course have Valentines Day. There is even a Grandparents Day and Secretaries Day. Do you know what we single people have? Palm Sunday."
All jokes aside he actually said this.

Improv 1, Week 2

I wanted to try the active voice a little more, so here it is!

Sentence: Kim was angered by her boyfriend.

Active Voice: Kim's face was red hot as she looked at the clock that held her boyfriend's life in its hands. She tapped her foot as fast as a tornado's rampage watching the door with the focus of a man deciding between the red and blue wire.

Classmate Responce 2, Week 2

This is hilarious! I didn't grow up on a farm, so seeing chicks would probably conjure up my every idea of cuteness. It's most likely because they are not animals that I see everyday.
I would never have guessed that you would do this sort of thing to a chick. As children, I guess we tend to commit mean spirited acts. I'm glad you two let them go in the end, even though you were still happy about it.
 I really liked the way that you described the terror and confusion of their faces also.

Classmate Responce 1, Week 2

 This is a response to Kay's reading analysis.
These are two of my favorite "showing not telling" examples too! When I read them I wanted to read them again just to soak in the specificity of it all. I could see every action and trait that was described about the kidnapper.
The entry about James answered a lot of the questions I had about him. It also gave me a concrete idea of what he looked like and what his personality was. From the way that she described him it was almost easy to see how she fell for him, and who she still calls him the love of her life. I can see why this stuck out most to you.

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 2

"A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."
                                                    -Thomas Mann

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 2

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
                                                     -Anton Chekhov

 I choose to post this quote because I thought it goes well with the "showing vs telling" technique.

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 2

"I am not a good writer, but I'm an excellent re-writer."
                                      -James Michener

Calisthenic 1, Week 2

This was my first attempt of the active voice exercise in class.

Sentence: It was a nice Spring day.

Active Voice: Miki gets out of her car to go into Kroger. She is greeted by a floral breeze that's perfectly balanced by the sun shy touch. As she walks to the automatic door, a girl scout asks if she wants to buy some cookies.

Free Entry 1, Week 2

Okay here is the new draft of the poem I posted last week. I worked all week on it, but I'm still not satisfied with it. The more I change in the poem, the more I find things wrong with it. I guessing that is the self-critic in me. Once again I would love to hear any feedback and suggestions, and I would also like to hear what you think about it.

The Clouds

Whip Cream topping
For a child's imagination
A migration of untouchable possibilities.
They glide through each emotion,
Angrily choking the sun of its radiance,
Crying tears with the drum beat of life,
And smiling with the warmth of coffee
On a day of subzero weather.
Captivating cotton candy
Colored curtains that protect
The view of our world
From the unknown.

Reading Response 1, Week 2

When I began Abducted by Circumstance, I will admit that I completely dreaded reading it. I kept getting confused about who was talking and who the new characters were to the main character. Once I became accustom to reading the book, I began to create a kind of groove to reading it. I found myself  being complete engrossed in the story. I started to understand the misunderstood feelings of the married couple and everyone around them.
Until we discussed the book in class, I never really noticed how David Maddon used a lot of "showing" instead of "telling" to reveal the feelings of the confused and unhappy heroine. After the class talked about the novel I began reading the story differently. I craved to find more of the "showing" technique. That is a skill I want to take and use in my own writing.

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 2

My Dad and I were in the car riding home . I was working on some of the active voice exercises we received in class, so I ask for a little inspiration. This is what I received. Me: "Daddy, What do you do when you see a hard math problem?" Daddy: "Skip it." I laughed for a good 15 minutes.

Reponse to Classmate 2, Week 1

This is a response to Drika's Improv of A Martian Sends a Postcard Home by Craig Raine. Wow the first stanza was so captivated! It pushed me to want to read the rest of what you wrote. The idea was very ominous and dark, but with a twist of confusion. That was a really great start, but I would recommend not sounding too much like the original in the second stanza. The third stanza was good too, but somehow it sounded like something I have heard before. Also always think about flow and the way that each line or stanza will sound being followed by the next. Overall it was great, thanks for the read!

Improv 1, Week 1

In class we read "A Martian Sends a Postcard Home" by Craig Raine. In this poem he showed the wonderful skill of defamiliarization, which is the act of making the ordinary extraordinary. This poem was a great inspiration for my love of word play and creative thought. Here I am trying the technique on my own:

The Clouds

Those cotton balls that float,
Day in and out.
They carry many emotions,
and switch between them in the passing days.
Angrily choking the sun of its radiance,
Crying hazy tears of life,
and smiling with the warmth
of coffee on a cold day
Captivating puffy cotton
candy colored pillows.

(This is a rough draft now, and I will happily take any ideas to help better this poem.)

Calisthenic 1, Week 1

I'm going to try my hand at showing versus telling again.

Telling: The girl is bored.

Showing: Sara taps her blue mechanical pencil on the desk, eyes glancing at the clock that is mockingly standing still. She looks over to the window to ease her thoughts of time actually stopping. In the background she hears what sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher only to see it's her professor lecturing.

Junkyard Quote 4, Week 1

" I wish I could hurt people without hurting them."
                                       -My Sister Brandi

Junkyard Quote 3, Week 1

" This girl is going to sing for supper." "Do you know who else sings for supper? Informants."
                                                    -The Finder

Junkyard Quote 2, Week 1

"Sounds like ordinary life. Total control, except for the pop-ups"
                                -Abducted by Circumstance David Madden
This was a interesting reference to the similarities between life and the internet/computers.

Free Entry 1, Week 1

Ribbing- an arrangement of ribs.

Synonyms- bantering, chaffing, fooling, jesting, joking, joshing, kidding, rallying, razzing, quizzical

Ex: "Does she think I'm ribbing her?" -Abducted by Circumstance Tobias Wolff

                 I wanted to put this up because I haven't heard it used before. I didn't even know you could use it in that sort of context. Well to me the definition gives no hint that it could be used that way. So I thought is was cool enough and share with everyone else.
                It's fun running across new words! I now grant this word an official member of my vocabulary. Welcome "ribbing" to the wonderful world of Brittany's mind, and hopefully someone else' mind too. I am curious, how many people actually knew you could used "ribbing" like this?

Reading Response 1, Week 1

   I decided to do my reading response on Tobias Wolff's Next Door. Until reading this short story a second time, I never realized how in depth I should read (and write). When I read it by myself I picked up on the subtle hints of trouble and awkwardness between the husband and wife. I think I even picked up on their jealousy toward their neighbors who have the passionate fire they lack.
  I didn't realize the importance of mentioning El Dorado, but now that I have read it again, it makes perfect sense that it reflects what the husband is missing, and what he hungers for. I now know that in a short story every detail, every word, and every sentence has a very specific purpose.

Response to a Classmate's Journal 1, Week 1

This is a response to Morgan's Week 1 Reading Response to Next Door.

I find it interesting that reading that short story made you want to write one of your own. I say that because it made me want to do the exact same thing. I just wish I had a scenario to write about like your disappearing roommate (Great back-story already by the way). I would suggest that to push the showing remember to think of ways to show the reader what your character is doing. It should play out like a movie or play as you read it. It might help to actually write what is in the character's mind, then go back and find a way to show those thoughts, feelings, and reactions. I hope you finish it soon I'm interested in reading it!

                                                     -Brittany

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 1

"it never happens, unless it does"
                       - David Madden Abducted by Circumstance
Isn't this the best thing to hear from a doctor? Especially right before being tested for something that could possibly end in a bad way. ( That was sarcasm in case you didn't catch that.) This line really stood out to me while reading, so I thought I would document it.